Growing Up
by Kirro
Summary: Rin has been slowly transforming from child to woman. Will she and Sesshoumaru be able to cope with the changes this transformation seems to want to make on their relationship?
1. Chapter 1

The cool night air that blew past her caused a slight, uncontrollable shiver to race down her spine, though she knew that the wind was just an excuse. The real reason she was shivering was from fear. After so many years, the Northern Lands still frightened her. She could never shake the images of her family and friends, her fellow villagers being devoured and murdered by the beasts who claimed this land as their own. The Northern Wolf Demons.

It had been about six years since the day she found a wounded dog demon in the forest outside her freshly slaughtered village. Six years since he had saved her life, and in doing so, claimed her life as his own. Since then she had traveled with the demon lord non stop. She had seen many gruesome things and encountered many demons that most would argue to be much scarier than wolves. But try as she may, she still couldn't shake away the trepidation that flowed through her as she entered the Northern Lands, once again in the stead of her lord.

'This is stupid. I should be beyond these childish fears.' She thought to herself as she followed the steady pace Sesshoumaru and Jaken had set in front of her. 'I've seen worse than a couple of wolves. I can handle this. Besides, if anything were to happen, I know Sesshoumaru will protect me.' At this thought her eyes drifted, not for the first time today, to the tall regal figure walking steadily in front of her.

Over the years, as Rin's child-like figure slowly faded away to reveal a young woman, so did her child-like view of her makeshift caretaker. She knew that she had loved him since she had laid eyes on him. But what had started out as a childish fascination had steadily grown into a deep and mature adoration. She had seen many other men on their travels. Of different color, race, age, even species. None of them compared to the beauty of her lord.

Rin wasn't stupid. She knew full well of Sesshoumaru's hatred for humans. She refused to let her heart fool herself into thinking there was a hope of him returning her affections.

So lost in her thoughts, she didn't even realizes the two in front of her had stopped until she ran smack dab into the back of Sesshoumaru. 'Baka! Baka baka baka baka…'

"S-Sorry Lord Sesshoumaru!" She hastily apologized, "I… uh… I wasn't paying attention I know… I'm so sorry…"

"Rin." The Lord's commanding voice cut her off.

He raised an eyebrow at her but made no mention of her clumsiness. For which her severely wounded dignity was thoroughly grateful.

After a beat, he continued. "We're stopping here for the night."

"Yes, milord."

After a short dinner Jaken had begrudgingly provided for the girl, they all settled down for the night.

Well, Rin had tried to. She had made herself as comfortable as possible between the roots of a tree and was trying to fall asleep. Her thoughts had other plans. Try as she may, she couldn't shake the fear that still held her.

"Rin."

The unexpected voice made her jump and let out an involuntary yelp of surprise.

"Oh my… Lord Sesshoumaru. I-I didn't know you were still up. I mean, I know you don't sleep much as it is. But I didn't expect you to be walking around still. Not that I expect anything from you. Especially when it comes to your nightly habits. Not that I'm saying you have any…."

"Rin." His level voice successfully interrupted her rant.

"Yes, milord?"

"Why are you afraid?"

"I'm not..." She began to protest, but the simple raising of his eyebrow changed her mind. "I…I'm afraid of… of the wolves, milord."

A beat passed as he seemed to contemplate this.

"Why? Do you not believe this Sesshoumaru will be enough to protect you?"

"Oh no! That's not it at all!" She hastened to assure him. "I trust you with my life Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Then why do I smell your fear?"

"I…" She could feel herself breaking. Stupid human emotions. Why couldn't she be like Sesshoumaru? Or Jaken? They weren't weak enough to let their emotions show.

"I don't know…" Try as she may, she couldn't stop the tears that leaked down her cheek. "I'm sorry milord. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough. I've tried to tell myself that my fears are stupid and irrational. I've tried to be like you or Jaken, but I can't. I'm just a stupid human. I can't help it if my weak human heart gets scared or worried or falls in love…"

She clamped her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe she had just said that!

"I… I'm sorry Sesshoumaru… I mean, milord!… I'm sorry…"

She couldn't help the sobs that escaped her now. She curled herself into a ball and cried, fully expecting Sesshoumaru to leave her, disgusted by her professions of love.

She was not expecting to feel large, strong arms envelope her. Or to feel someone pulling her into their lap. Startled, she raised her head to meet the face of Sesshoumaru.

"Your weakness does not bother me Rin." His voice was still even, but his face was slightly softer than usual.

"R…Really?"

With a clawed thumb, he gently wiped the tears from her face.

"Yes, rest now. This Sesshoumaru will protect you from your fears."

"Yes, milord."

Curling up in the arms of her secret love, Rin slowly slipped into sweet slumber as Sesshoumaru's presence did indeed chase away her fears.

I'm thinking of another chapter. Hmmm… I haven't decided yet. I know it's been forever since I've written on TTSSYF, but writer's block is hard.

_pouts_

Anyway, I'm working on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Sesshoumaru was not stupid. As a demon, his sense of smell was greater than that of an average man, as a dog demon, it was infallible. He was well aware of the fact that Rin was growing up. Anyone with eyes could see that. His sense of smell told him that her scent spiked whenever she looked at him. His hearing caught the increase in her heartbeat when he looked at her. And his eyesight noticed the light pink blush that would color her nose when he caught her staring at him. What he didn't understand was why any of this should matter to him.

He, Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands, was above weak human emotions. At least, that's what he thought before he met the girl that was currently sleeping in his arms as he sat, leaning against a tree. He didn't understand it. He didn't understand his heart lurching when she wasn't with him. He didn't understand his heart missing a beat when she smiled at him. He didn't understand his eye's constant infatuation with her lips.

Those lips that would pout in the cutest way when she didn't get what she wanted.

Those lips that were now slightly parted, letting her warm breath escape her mouth to caress his neck.

He didn't understand any of this! Demons do not have emotions. Demons do not fall in love!

The sleeping girl once again drew his attention as the hand that was flung around his neck began to move, sliding down his neck to the small amount of flesh left exposed by his kimono. There her hand paused before continuing its journey down, now inside his kimono, sliding over his breastbone, diaphragm and abs. As it passed over his belly button, he gently grasped her wrist and removed it from his robes, laying it against his chest where her fingers softly clutched the cloth.

In the peace of the morning, as the sun gently filtered down on them through the trees, he decided to indulge his instincts and, lowering his nose to her hair, took a deep inhale of her scent. It was a wonderful mix of spring roses and… his own scent. He was also most likely covered with hers. This wouldn't do.

"Rin." His hand gently swept back the hair that had fallen over her face.

She stirred slightly, and with a moan, nuzzled his neck.

He suppressed the annoying little shiver that ran through him and tried again, this time making her sit up.

"Rin."

"Yes milord?" She mumbled as she rubbed her eyes. She blinked a few times before fully opening her eyes and looking him in the face. Again he noticed the blush that colored her nose and cheeks. "Ah, good morning Lord Sesshoumaru. Shall I fetch Master Jaken for you?"

"Yes, tell him that I wish for us all to bathe and want him to find me a suitable spot."

"Yes, milord." She lifted herself from his lap and began to walk in the general direction of the river. The toad demon was usually found down there fishing.

The spot Jaken found was indeed suitable. It was a cave that had a hot spring falling from a hole in the twenty foot ceiling to collect in a pool that was about fifteen feet in diameter and three feet deep. The cave's entrance was hidden by trees and brush.

Sesshoumaru disrobed and entered the pool near the entrance, away from the waterfall. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander. He still didn't understand things. It was normal for him to be attracted to Rin. Being sixteen, she had reached the age for mating and was very beautiful for a human. She was strong willed and yet still gentle and compassionate. All very good reasons for a human male to desire her. But why him?

As Sesshoumaru sat there, he could hear the soft patter of bare feet on the cave floor. Not bothering to open his eyes, he listened to the soft rush of silk falling to the cold stone in a heap. He couldn't mistake the small splashing of someone entering the pool near the waterfall, nor could he ignore the quick intake of breath as someone adjusted to the heat of the spring. He was expecting to see what he saw when he opened his eyes; he wasn't expecting his reaction to it.

The first thing he noticed was long hair softly swaying as she moved toward the fall. Down to her rear, the color of chocolate with the shine of silk. He noticed his heart quicken as she turned around. Eyes closed, and facing him, she raised her arms up over her head and began to work on scrubbing her hair with the expensive soap that Jaken had given her after much persuasion. He couldn't stop his eyes from following the water and bubbles that ran down her body, tracing her curves as it went. He noticed the way his body was reacting to this and, with a small annoyed growl, closed his eyes again.

"Lord Sesshoumaru?" opening his eyes, he cursed himself. How did she get so close without him noticing? And had he not taught the girl better? She was standing directly in front of him naked! Where was her modesty?

He raised an eyebrow in response. She shifted under his gaze. As if just realizing, she moved to cover herself. He could smell her scent spike again and there was that pink blush.

"Um… Did you want help…? I mean, can I… uh, would you like me to clean your hair for you? I mean, it's so long I figured you might want help, I mean assistance. That is, if you want me to at all cause I could just…"

"Rin."

"Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru?" her gaze dropped and she fiddled with the soap in her hands.

"I would like you to wash my hair for me." Turning around, he flipped his hair over his shoulder so that she could reach the end of it. What was this power the girl had over him? Would he really do anything to make her smile? It seemed so.

'It's a terrible mess you've gotten yourself into. How could you let yourself fall for a human! You know what will happen if you mate with her. The same thing that happened to your father and his human wench. Not to mention your offspring would be hanyous like your brother. Do you really want to do that to your illustrious line?'

He could feel the soft touch of her fingers as she ran her hands through his silver tresses and frankly it was making it difficult to concentrate. Reaching over his shoulder, he laid his large hand over her much smaller one. She stopped her ministrations, but did not withdraw her hand.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, if I man ask, are you feeling ok? You've been acting a bit… strange lately."

"I've had some things on my mind, Rin."

To the surprise of the demon lord, Rin took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his chest from behind, resting her head on his shoulder.

"If you want, milord, I am willing to listen. Not that you need the council of a human girl. But I'm here for you, just the same."

He then understood. He understood why this woman had become indispensable to him and why all the men in his family seemed to be destined to fall for human women; because they were made whole with love. This female had given him what power, title and influence could never give him. What he would never be able to find in another demon. Understanding, love, companionship, these were the strength of the human heart.

"Rin…"

"Oh!" Rin exclaimed as she realized that she was touching Sesshoumaru without permission. With a long string of apologizes, she unwrapped herself from Sesshoumaru and jumped back, dropping the soap and tripping in the process. Sesshoumaru grabbed her flailing arm and lifted the dripping girl from the water. To his surprise, she was still apologizing through her coughs.

"I'm… _cough cough_… So sorry…. _Cough cough_… milord…. _Cough_... I…"

"Rin." Sesshoumaru laid his hands on her shoulders. "Rin, I'm not mad at you."

"Y-You're not?"

He couldn't help the smirk that made its way onto his lips.

"No." He gingerly swept the hair out of her face. "Now let us leave so that Jaken may have his turn with the spring. Or would you like to give him the same treatment you have given me?"

Her eyes widened as she shook her head violently.

He allowed himself a small chuckled as they gathered their things and made their exit, the grumbling toad entering the cave behind them.


	3. Chapter 3

Sesshoumaru walked slowly, yet purposefully through a forest on the outskirts of a village. This village happened to be at the joint of the Northern, Southern, Eastern and Western lands. It was considered to be part of all these lands, yet also a province all its own. Visiting this place only served to irritate the demon lord. For this place, this no man's land, was known as InuYasha's forest; the land of his half brother. It suited its namesake well, he being a half demon; both a demon and a human, yet at the same time belonging to neither species.

A few years ago InuYasha finally took a mate; a strange miko from the future. Having been taught under the old miko Kaede before her rather timely death, InuYasha's mate now oversaw Rin's miko training.

Sesshoumaru exited the forest and made it halfway to the outer huts of the village before he was stopped. A tall figure dressed in red stood and glared at him. He had silver hair and golden eyes identical to Sesshoumaru's and two silver dog ears that slid back threateningly.

"What the hell are you doing here, Sesshoumaru?"

"Calm yourself whelp. I mean no harm… yet."

At that moment, Sesshoumaru felt the slight prickling of spiritual powers dance across his skin as a woman with raven black hair the length of Rin's emerged from the village. She came to stand by her mate and husband, though as a good mate should, she stood a step behind InuYasha. A rather large pregnant belly had reduced her walk to a waddle.

"InuYasha, why are you getting so upset if it's just Sesshoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru felt the prickling ease off and stop as she lowered her guard.

"Good afternoon, Sesshoumaru. What brings you to our village?"

"I wish to speak with you privately."

"What! Hell no!"

"InuYasha." Kagome placed her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to pacify him. "Sesshoumaru, does it need to be in private? I'm sure whatever you would have to discuss with me could easily be discussed in front of, if not with InuYasha as well."

"I would prefer to speak to you alone, Miko."

Kagome gave an elegant shrug and conceded.

"No! Woman, I said no! I'm not letting you out of my sight, especially with him," Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow, "In your condition! And especially not to discuss private things!"

Kagome turned InuYasha to face her, placing both her hands on his chest.

"Inu, he probably just wants to discuss Rin's studies. I promise we won't go more than a few feet into the forest. Besides, I'm perfectly safe with my miko powers and you just a holler and a leap away, right? Not to mention, if you let me go, I promise to make you ramen when I get back." Kagome reached up on her tiptoes and gave InuYasha a quick peck on the lips.

InuYasha's ears perked up and his face relaxed, giving him a soothed look, while still pulling off a good impression of an excited puppy. Sesshoumaru couldn't help but marvel at the power this woman had over the half demon. Would he and Rin be like that? A tendril of fear and a shiver of pleasure simultaneously ran through him at this thought.

InuYasha turned to glare at Sesshoumaru, a threatening growl escaping his throat.

"Alright Sesshoumaru, you've got twenty minutes. I'll be watching to see her coming out of the forest unharmed."

"Twenty minutes should be more than enough time. And stop your whining, it is beneath this Sesshoumaru to kill pregnant females. Even if they are human and mated to you."

InuYasha growled a warning to Sesshoumaru, but turned a soft voice to his mate.

"Be careful with him Kagome. And don't walk too far, you'll exhaust yourself."

"Of course Inu, now let me go so we can get this over with and I can get you that ramen."

InuYasha bent down over Kagome's neck and licked the mark he had left there when they had joined as mates. He then stood upright, arms crossed and glaring at Sesshoumaru as he watched the two of them leave.

True to her word, they had only walked a few feet into the forest, just out of InuYasha's earshot, when Kagome paused in her waddle and began to slowly lower herself to a fallen log. After she had situated herself, she turned her face up to Sesshoumaru, giving him a disarming smile.

"I assume you want Rin's progress report as usual, though why this had to be in private, I don't understand. She's doing fantastic. I only wish I could have begun my training as early as she did. And with as few distractions." Kagome absently raised a hand to lightly finger the jewel hanging from her neck for a moment. "She has a great deal of power and will reach my level, if not surpass it, in no time. Her skill in archery is steadily improving. She has a really good eye and a steady hand. I do hope you have headed my advice and allowed her time to practice during your travels."

Kagome paused in her report, obviously expecting a response.

"I have. And though it is pleasing to hear of her continued progress, that is not why I have come here."

"Rin's not sick, is she?" A concerned look flashed across her face.

"No. I wish to speak to you concerning your relationship with my half brother."

"InuYasha and myself? Um ok, but I don't see…"

"Just answer my questions, woman. I do not need you to understand." His voice was firm, but not overly offensive.

Kagome shrugged. "Ok."

"What is it like for a human to be mated to a demon? Did it hurt? Are you as happy as you would have been with a human mate?"

Kagome stared up at Sesshoumaru for a moment.

'What's he trying to get at? Well, as they say, only one way to find out.'

"It is somewhat difficult. It was hard adjusting and trying to learn all the traditions, rules, and language of mates. I wasn't raised to understand it like demon females. It didn't hurt, except for the actual marking wasn't the most comfortable of experiences." She lightly touched her make mark. "I don't think I could possibly be anywhere near as happy as I am with InuYasha if I was with someone else. I love InuYasha more than anyone."

"How do you know you love InuYasha and him you? How do you express it to each other?"

Kagome's eyebrows rose at the question.

"Well, that's a loaded question. I knew I was in love with InuYasha when I realized I wouldn't be able to live without him. I was sure InuYasha loved me when he asked me to be his mate. All doubt left me at that point. I show him my love by being there for him, letting him know he's no longer alone. I do little things like make him ramen and give him kisses and hugs, playing with his ears or sleeping in a tree with him. He lets me know with his protectiveness. His little touches and caresses, spontaneously holding my hand, taking me for rides on his back, brushing my hair or letting me brush his hair. Not to mention we tell each other all the time that we love each other."

Sesshoumaru digested all of this in silence. He was contemplating coming right out and telling her what was on his mind. Rin and his brother were always telling him what a good listener this human was. And his questions so far were not getting him the answers he desired.

"Sesshoumaru, what does this have to do with anything? Why don't you come out and tell me what's on your mind?"

Were all women mind readers? Rin was always doing that to him, repeating his thoughts out loud.

Sesshoumaru let out a sight and assented.

"I believe I have fallen in love with Rin and wish to take her as my mate. Though I am aware that Rin is attracted to me, I am not certain she would consent to binding herself to a demon forever."

To say that Kagome was surprised would have been the understatement of the year.

"Sesshoumaru, I have spent a great deal of time with the girl and can tell you that she does indeed love you very much. But as far as becoming your mate, the only way to know her answer to that question is to ask it of her."

"I…" Sesshoumaru stopped, not sure if he wanted to humiliate himself further.

A soft smile graced her lips.

'He reminds me SO much of InuYasha when he's nervous.'

"Go ahead Sesshoumaru. It would be best for you if you got it off your chest. And I'm not going to tell anyone, not even your brother."

Sesshoumaru sighed again, silently hoping it wasn't becoming a habit. All this sighing was rather annoying.

"I don't think I can… I don't know… How do I show Rin that I love her? I don't know how to love someone."

"Yes you do."

Sesshoumaru gave her an indignant look.

"In your heart, you know how. Think of the way she makes toy feel. How do you wish to treat her? What things do you want to do to her, with her, for her? And I mean that in every way. I know this sounds cliché, but let your heart guide you, Sesshoumaru. It knows what to do."

Sesshoumaru thought about this before extending his hand to her.

"Come, we need to get you back before my brother has a heart attack."

Kagome accepted his hand up and they began back through the forest. As they neared the edge of the forest, Sesshoumaru paused.

"I can see why my brother covets you so. Thank you for your council, Miko."

Kagome bowed in farewell. With that, Sesshoumaru was off, back to his lands and his Rin.

Isn't it great sometimes how dense Kagome is? Are you liking this story so far? I'm not sure I'm going to make this a lemon, but I do know it probably won't be more that two more chapters. Hmmm… I'll have to think about that….


	4. Chapter 4

Woo hoo! A new chapter!

…………………………………………….

Rin concentrated as she jogged. Tapping in to her spiritual powers, she expanded her "senses" to the forest around her. She could sense the auras of every creature within a fifty mile radius of herself. Foreknowledge lead to preparation; if anything came at her, she'd know ahead of time. She also went on these little jogs because it was vitally important for her to stay "in shape" as her sensei put it. Leaping over logs and dodging trees, Rin continued in a winding path away from their current campsite.

A lot of things were on her mind lately; the foremost of them being her Lord. She knew that she was naïve in the ways of love, but she also knew her own heart. She could no longer write off her feelings as some silly girl crush. She was deeply in love. As they say, love isn't easy, and hers was no exception. Aside from the fact that Sesshoumaru didn't even know she existed in the "potential mate" sense, there was also their age difference, the danger it would put them both in, and him being a demon lord and her being a human; a miko human.

'In through the nose; out through the mouth, in through the nose; out through the mouth.'

Focusing her breathing, she continued on until she came to a ledge. Stopping, her back to the forest, she rested her hands on her knees and surveyed the valley below her. The sudden snap of a branch behind her made her spin around.

'Aw damn. While I was daydreaming about Sesshoumaru, I let my guard down. Kagome would be disappointed. Sesshoumaru will be pissed if I get myself killed.'

Standing up straight, she surveyed the forest before her with her eyes, ears and powers. She could feel an aura about a foot behind the tree line. It was rather small, dark and shifty.

'Probably a rodent demon. Ah well, exercise is exercise.'

Rin slowly slid her left foot back a bit and away, dropping her hips and shoulders into a casual defensive stance. Summoning up her powers, she held them at a peak, in case she would have to release them suddenly in an energy blast. Slowly the weasel demon made his way through the line of trees to her. He was short, about half a foot shorter than her, with slick gray hair and red rimmed black eyes. He stood on his hind legs and hunched over, his clawed hands rubbing together under his open snout. Drool was dripping from his fangs.

"Food… tender flesh…soft meat…"

"Aw… thanks for the compliment. But no thank you."

Rin braced herself as the demon charged her. At the last moment, she spun and moved to the side, intent on letting the mindless demon's momentum carry him over the ledge. Unfortunately he didn't get the memo that he was supposed to die. As he passed her, he made a grab for her, catching his claws in the sleeve of her kimono, and grazing the flesh underneath. Realizing she was about to go over the edge with him, she pulled the arm he held back while extending her other hand in front of his face; giving him a full taste of her purifying powers. She watched, at a proximity that was unfortunately too close for her comfort, as the demon exploded and evaporated. Deciding that she had had enough "fun" for one afternoon, Rin headed back to camp.

…………………………………………………….

Sesshoumaru entered the camp just behind Rin. Her back was to him and he watched as she searched through the bags for something. He could smell her sweat and hear her pounding heartbeat. She had been out training again. Turning around, she gave a little jump when she realized his presence and he had to suppress a smile.

"Oh Sesshoumaru, you're back. Was your journey successful? Did you take care of that business you had?"

There was that blush again. But there was something else. Blood? He then realized that she wasn't just holding her arm out of nervousness, she was hiding something from him.

"Rin, come here."

With a sigh, the girl complied. She stopped in front of him and let go of her left arm, revealing a two inch rip in her kimono. Sesshoumaru gave her a disapproving frown and she turned her head away from him. He hooked a finger in the tear and gripping the sleeve between his finger and thumb, ripped the sleeve off, revealing a shallow cut two inches wide across the middle of her bicep.

"It…it's nothing my Lord. It was only a weasel demon, he barely touched me..."

"Merely a simple weasel demon and you are wounded..."

Sesshoumaru sighed. If they were "together", stronger demons, more powerful than this simple rodent would come after her. Were his feelings worth putting her in that kind of danger?

She snapped her head back around to face him and fixed him with an irritated glare.

"I defeated him. I'm not helpless."

"Have I offended you Rin?"

Rin blushed and faltered a bit.

'Well if you're dumb enough to open your mouth in the first place, you might as well say what you're going to say.'

"Well… no. But I do wish you would stop treating me as if I were made of glass. I'm not just a human girl; I'm a miko. I can defend myself."

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow in amusement. She had never spoken so bluntly to him before. He saw her irritation and her pride, and couldn't help but prod her.

"Do you think you could defeat this Sesshoumaru?"

Rin raised herself on her tiptoes and laid a hand on his chest.

"I have enough power to purify you right now."

Sesshoumaru smirked at that. Leaning down close to her face, he pinned her hand between their chests, pressing himself firmly against her.

"Could you?"

Rin's eyes widened as she realized what she was saying. Not to mention how close she was to Sesshoumaru. Backing up, she lowered her eyes and hand, blushing furiously.

"I… If I wanted to… Lord Sesshoumaru."

Placing his hand against her cheek, Sesshoumaru leaned down close to her face again, looking into her eyes.

"And would you, Rin? Would you want to?"

"Never... Sesshoumaru…"

Her answer was barely above a whisper. Her skin was so soft under his hand, her lips so close. It would be so easy for him to give in, to take what he wanted. To give her what her eyes were begging him for. He had every intention of doing that when he rested his other hand on her arm. Rin flinched away, sucking in her breath in a hiss. Sesshoumaru released her as if her arm had burned him.

"Don't worry about it my Lord, I'm ok. I need to bathe and get this wound cleaned out. I'll be back later."

Rin gathered a fresh kimono, a towel and some soap, and walked off towards a nearby river.

……………………………………

Sesshoumaru was leaning against a large oak when Jaken returned to camp. He had Ah Un in tow and was carrying two freshly slaughtered rabbits and some vegetables.

"Ah Lord Sesshoumaru, I was thinking a rabbit stew for dinner would be nice. Perhaps the human can even sear this second rabbit correctly for you. She is apt at preparing human food, but her demon cuisine is still lacking."

"Jaken, Rin requires new clothing. I want you to give her a few hundred yen to go shopping in the villages tomorrow."

"But Lord Sesshoumaru, She got a new kimono just last week. How could she possibly need a new one? That irresponsible little girl, she needs to learn how to take care of her belongings before you allow her more than she even needs."

"Jaken, are you questioning my orders?"

"N… no my Lord! I'm just saying…."

"What are you saying Jaken?"

"I… Well," Jaken swallowed hard, "I think well… You spoil that human."

Said human walked into camp as if on cue. She was wearing a white silk sleeping kimono, wet curls of her hair were sticking out of the towel wrapped around her head and she was carrying her torn kimono and soap in her arms. She put her things away in the bags, moved over to sit by Sesshoumaru and began to dry her hair.

"Rin."

Rin looked up at him from beneath the towel.

"Yes, Milord?"

"Do I spoil you?"

"Yes, Milord."

Rin went back to drying her hair and Sesshoumaru smiled.

"Good. Jaken, do as I say."

Jaken sighed as he began making the fire.

"Yes, My Lord."

……………………………………………

Rin smiled as she moved through the marketplace. She couldn't believe Lord Sesshoumaru had given her so much money to spend on herself! As a little girl, Rin loved to collect things that she saw as beautiful; flowers, stones, butterflies. Now that she was older, she continued this on a more expensive budget. Rin loved jewelry; necklaces, rings, bracelets, hair combs and pins.

She moved between the booths, stopping when a particular cloth caught her eye. She, not to mention Sesshoumaru, had particular taste on what she wore. He liked her in fine silks and embroideries, and she liked what he liked. She had already bought quite a bit of kimonos and fabric. Rin couldn't help herself though, a booth of shiny, bejeweled objects caught her eye and she was pulled in like a moth to the flame.

Picking up a large gold comb, Rin passed her fingers over it as it lay in her open palm.

"Um sir, how much is this comb?"

The merchant behind the booth glanced at her briefly before continuing in his conversation with the man next to him. Rin knew that in her simple orange kimono (that was now missing a sleeve) she looked like an average village girl, but she wasn't used to being treated with such contempt.

'Kagome-san was right. I should wear my miko outfit when in the villages, at least that was I can get a little respect.'

"Um, sir? Did you hear me?"

"Get lost wench, I don't have time for poor little orphans. I cater to lord and ladies."

Kagome suddenly felt something she rarely ever felt when she was in villages. Sesshoumaru was approaching. Sure enough, she could hear the gasps and quick shuffling of people behind her. Though Sesshoumaru could pass for a simple human lord, he rarely went into villages, he usually sent Rin.

"I believe this one suits you better."

Sesshoumaru picked up a smaller, more delicate silver comb that was decorated with small amethyst and ruby stones. Gently brushing her hair back behind her ear with one hand, he put the comb in place with the other.

The merchant's eyes and mouth were wide open. Very few people in these villages ever saw a lord of Sesshoumaru's obvious class; human or demon.

Sesshoumaru picked up a small gold piece from the pouch in Rin's basket and laid it on the table.

"I believe this will cover it."

Sesshoumaru extended his arm to Rin. She took it and the two walked out of the village together.

…………………………………………………………

That last part was a bit OOC, but I had fun. I figured you guys deserved a long chapter. Especially since I had forgotten for a while there where I was going with this story. That's why I haven't written in a while. I don't do filler chapters, I do substance. This one basically shows some of their every day life and how Sesshoumaru is changing in the way he treats Rin.


	5. Chapter 5

Sesshoumaru had decided they would return to his castle in the western lands. His business in the north and in his brother's forest was done; therefore it was best if they crossed back over into his territory. His castle was styled after many seen far East on the mainland. One of hisancestors had traveled there and found the knights and towers and dungeons quite amusing, therefore styling his own home after them. This was the castle that was passed down through generations. Which now belonged to Sesshoumaru.

A week after returning, life on the estate went back to normal. He attended to issues and matters of the land, Jaken did whatever Sesshoumaru told him to do and Rin did whatever she felt like. That is, when it didn't interrupt her lessons with Jaken. Sesshoumaru took her education and tutorials very seriously.

Sesshoumaru thought about the last few weeks of travel as he made his way through the castle. Many things had transpired that would change life for him and everyone else who inhabited this estate. For the first time in his life, Sesshoumaru was considering taking a mate; and a human mate at that. This would not only make him the laughing stock of the lords and ladies of Japan, but it might very well put Rin's life in danger.

Coming to his study, he closed the door behind him, a sure sign to Jaken that he was not to be disturbed. Sitting behind his desk, he pondered things over some more.

_If you really love her, do what is best for her. You know that she is not strong enough to be a Lady. Find her a suitable mate and send her away. See that she is taken care of, and then put this nonsense out of your mind for good. Once she is married, this silly distraction will be gone and you can get back to what is important. _

Sesshoumaru realized that he was indeed correct. If he cared for the girl at all, he would do what was best for _her_.

_Even if this means that Rin will leave, forever. _

Sesshoumaru ignored the pang that gripped his heart at this thought and summoned Jaken. The toad youkai popped his head in moments later.

"Yes Milord?"

"Jaken I have a task for you…"

……………………………………………………………….

A week later, Sesshoumaru summoned Rin into his study. Rin entered soon after, standing near the door with her head bowed and her arms behind her back. Sesshoumaru noticed she was wearing the latest yukata he had bought for her. It was make of baby blue silk with pink sakura blossoms embroidered across it. The obi was pink as well. He also noticed the way the pink blossoms accented the light blush coloring her nose. He shook off this information, trying to focus on the task at hand.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, Master Jaken said you wanted to see me."

"Yes Rin. It is time we discussed your future."

Rin's head snapped up at that. Her eyes locked with his for a moment before she lowered her gaze. He didn't miss the trepidation swimming in their depths.

"I assume my lord has come to a decision?"

"I have. Rin, it is time for you to act like an adult. That includes taking on the responsibility of a human woman of your age."

_I knew he still only sees me as a child. See Rin? You are a fool to love him._

Saying what came next tore at Sesshoumaru's heart. He ignored it in favor of what he felt was in Rin's best interest.

"Rin, you are not a child anymore. You are a young woman now; it is time that Jaken found you a mate… or… what is the human term?"

"Husband."

Rin's response was vacant, her heart and head swimming with what Sesshoumaru was telling her.

"Yes, it is time you were found a husband… Rin, what are you crying?"

Despite how low her head hung, Sesshoumaru could see the tears racing down her cheeks. She was stock still and, to human ears, silent.

Rin felt as if Sesshoumaru had ripped her heart out as it still beat and was now crushing and slicing it into origami and paper flower arrangements in front of her.

_He wants me to leave! I know I was a fool to fall in love with him but… I guess I was an even bigger fool to think there was a chance that…"_

Rin was interrupted from her thoughts when she realized that Sesshoumaru had asked her a question. She tried in vain to keep her voice even as she responded.

"I… I don't want to leave Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Surely at your age you desire a home and a family of your own…"

"This is my home, Milord. You and Master Jaken are the only family I have; the only family I want."

Rin was openly sobbing now. It was making it very difficult for Sesshoumaru to keep his resolve. He wanted little more than to pull her into his arms and never let her leave his side.

"Please Milord; do not make me leave…"

Sesshoumaru ran a hand through his hair.

"You make it sound as if I am sentencing you to death."

Rin's response was soft, the sound of her voice sad enough to pull on what little heartstrings the demon lord might have.

"If you send me away, you will be."

Rin chose that moment to raise her head and look Sesshoumaru in the eyes. The pleading he saw there was enough to send any mortal man to his knees. Sesshoumaru dismissed her quickly, before his resolve crumbled.

"You are not being reasonable Rin. We shall continue this discussion when you are lucid enough to hear the wisdom in my words."

At his dismissal, Rin left the study swiftly and sharply. Sesshoumaru watched her rigid back as she departed before moving to stand by the window behind his desk. Heaving a great sigh, he gazed mindlessly into the sky beyond.

_If this is the right decision, why does it hurt do much?_

…………………………………………………………………………..

Forher safety, Sesshoumaru always made sure to time Rin's training trips to his brother's forest to coincide with her heat cycle. A human female in heat, in a castle of demons was a recipe for disaster. Not to mention, as things were going and his growinginfatuation with the girl, he wasn't sure even he would be able to control himself if she were to go into heat under his nose. A month after their first discussion, just after Rin returned from InuYasha's Forest, Sesshoumaru once again summoned her to his study.

Sesshoumaru was surprised by the girl who entered his study. By all accounts she looked like Rin, though gone was the blush, the timidity, and the… cuteness that was so distinctly Rin. Rin stood near the door as usual, her hands at her sides, chin up and eyes forward. She resembled more a soldier than Sesshoumaru's ward.

"You wished to speak with me, Milord?"

"Yes Rin. You have had some time to think and I assume that you now see the wisdom in my decision."

"With all due respect, Milord, I do not."

Sesshoumaru sighed, standing and moving around to the front of his desk.

"Rin…"

"Lord Sesshoumaru, I have no desire nor need for a husband."

"Rin, you don't know what you want."

Sesshoumaru's words cut her deep. They were once again confirmation that he still saw her as nothing more than a foolish child.

"You are the one that has no idea what I want. You obviously don't even know me."

The ice in her voice caught Sesshoumaru off guard. He would never expect such disrespect and contempt from Rin. Maybe she was right; maybe he didn't know the fiery young woman standing before him afterall. Lack of knowledge was lack of power. And lack of power angered him.

"And you forget your place human. Do not force me to remind you of it the hard way."

In a flash he crossed the distance between them and was towering over her, his index claw curled upward just below her jaw. Just as quickly, the hard cold mask slipped from her face. She met his eyes steadily; hers filled with unshed tears that shimmered with fear, sadness and on a small level, betrayal.

"Is this what you want, Milord? Do you want me gone so badly that you would even do away with me by your own hand?"

Sesshoumaru's anger melted away as the tears slid from her eyes.

"Rin."

As gently as he spoke he placed his hand against her face. Rin tilted her cheek into his open palm, closing her eyes.

"I don't want you gone Rin. Understand that I must do this for you. Marriage to a human is what is best for you. Do this for me."

Rin took a deep breath to steady her emotions and steel her resolve. Opening her eyes, she met Sesshoumaru's gaze with determination.

"I will do whatever you ask of me."

Sesshoumaru was about to respond when the door to the study opened and Jaken entered. Instead he lowered his hand from Rin's face and turned towards his retainer.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, I have good news."

"Yes Jaken."

The small demon beamed proudly, knowing that his success would please his lord.

"I have found Rin a husband."

………………………………………………………………

Ok, so here's why this chapter took do long:

I was totally going to go a different direction here, but then…

BAM!

I'm hit with this ingenious idea that morphed into what you see before you.

Also, I made a mistake in the last chapter and called Rin, Kagome. Thanks to who pointed that out. (I also put this author's note in my other story. He he he. Making a mistake on a correction, that cracks me up.)

Anyway, the next chapter is not far behind.


	6. Chapter 6

Sesshoumaru sat in the throne room, silently observing the messenger kneeling before him. He was a kitsune, shorter than Sesshoumaru, with a small ponytail of auburn hair.

The husband Jaken had found for Rin was indeed a good match it seemed. A human prince from a region in the Western Lands near InuYasha's Forest. Everyone, it seemed, made out well with this marriage. Rin would be able to continue her miko training, Sesshoumaru would receive a royally-sized bridal price, and the human kingdom would receive a peace treaty from the demon lord.

_Of course they'd send a youkai servant to deal with a youkai lord; cowards. They expect me to hand Rin over to a man I have never met?_

"If we could just get your signature on the wedding contract, I will take the girl off your hands and escort her to her new home where we shall begin…"

"No."

Jaken sputtered from his place next to Sesshoumaru. The fox demon's eyes widened in disbelief.

"No?"

"No. I am offended that you would think I would hand over a valuable possession of mine to someone I have never met. If Prince Yuki is too busy or too cowardice to come claim his bride himself, he shall have no bride. I will not hand her care over to an incompetent. I shall find other arrangements for her."

"I assure you Lord Sesshoumaru, that this is indeed not the case. It is merely customary among out people to send an emissary to negotiate marital contracts. I humbly apologize for any offense and shall return to my master and relay to him your request. "

With a nod from Sesshoumaru, the kitsune stood and exited from the throne room.

"Milord, I don't understand."

"I will accept no less than the best for Rin, Jaken. She has entrusted us with her future and I shall not betray that trust to a prince who can not match her."

"Yes Milord."

Jaken bowed as Sesshoumaru stood and left as well.

_That child really had changed him. I hope he knows what he's doing; for both their sakes._

……………………………………………………………

Rin sat on a cushion in the middle of the library as Jaken drawled on about some ancient great lord or other. As her hands worked on her latest piece of embroidery, her mind worked on the current events of her life.

Prince Yuki was to arrive any day now. Once that happened, the only thing that stood between her and married life was Sesshoumaru's signature on the marriage contract. Even though her head told her that her unrequited love was foolish and would forever stay unrequited; something in her hear told her that there was still hope. She saw the way Sesshoumaru would look at her when no one was paying attention. Touching her fingers to her lips, she smiled, thinking about the times she could have sworn he was about to…

"Rin! Child, are you even listening to me?"

_Is my love for him so forbidden that even thoughts of him are not to be permitted?_

"My apologies Master Jaken please do continue." After grumbling a bit about insolent human girls, Jaken continued in his lecture, only to be interrupted again moments later by a servant bursting into the library.

"Oh what is it this time?"

"Master Jaken! Prince Yuki has arrived!"

Rin's embroidery slipped through her fingers as those last four words brought her world crashing down around her.

………………………………………………………..

_He's handsome, I guess, for a human._

Rin stood behind Jaken, who stood next to Sesshoumaru's throne. Prince Yuki and his youkai servant were standing before them. Prince Yuki was relatively young, about his mid twenties. He was as tall as his kitsune servant (which was a few inches shorter than Sesshoumaru) with black hair the length of Sesshoumaru's held back in a high ponytail. His eyes were a warm earth brown and his build was that of a seasoned warrior.

Prince Yuki and Sesshoumaru were discussing something that was barely holding Rin's attention as she examined her husband-to-be.

_I suppose he's not all _that_ bad. Then again, I haven't talked to him yet. I told Sesshoumaru and myself that I would do this for him. I can do this. Come on Rin, you can do this._

Yuki laughed at something Sesshoumaru said and Rin's attention came abruptly back to the conversation.

_Sesshoumaru said something funny?_

When she realized it was a nervous laugh, her thoughts drifted away from the conversation again.

_I hope he's not a bore. I'm sure Jaken has good taste. And if he's unsuitable, Sesshoumaru will turn him away. Unless of course he doesn't care and is waiting to give me away to the first guy brave (or stupid) enough to face him._

"Then it's settled. You shall stay here for one week to rest up, and get supplies, and so that Rin may prepare for her journey. At that time I shall sign the contract and the three of you may be on your way."

Sesshoumaru dismissed the prince and his attendant and the two left with servants of Sesshoumaru's castle to retire to their temporary quarters. Rin stood silently still, more out of shock than waiting for herself to be dismissed. After a moment or two, another servant entered the throne room.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, it is my honor to announce the arrival of Leiko; niece of Lord Kenji of the Eastern Lands."

Rin's raised her gaze to meet the door just as Lady Leiko entered. Jaken had taught her about this demon. She was the only daughter of the Lord of the Eastern Land's younger sister. She was well sought after for her beauty and power. Though not an heiress herself, she would make quite the perfect trophy mate. A full blooded lion demon, she had calf-length tawny gold locks of a very rare color in Japan. Her eyes were gold, but paler than Sesshoumaru's. She wore a silk kimono of jade green and black. She had a gliding walk that carried her to towards the thrown where she bowed low, the folds of her kimono effortlessly sweeping back behind her in a way that Jaken had taken months to teach Rin. When she spoke, it sounded like warm honey.

"My Lord, it is an honor to receive an invitation to your castle."

Leiko tilted her head upward slightly and gazed at Sesshoumaru from under her eyelashes, a light smile playing at her lips.

_Oh gods, she's flirting with him! _

"Lady Leiko, it is my pleasure to welcome someone of your class and beauty into my home."

Sesshoumaru stepped down from his throne and bend over to take Leiko's hand in his, lightly brushing his lips on the back of her fingers.

_What the hell? He's flirting with her too! What is going on here?_

Rin turned her eyes to Jaken, she called to him in a voice low enough that the two demons before them would not overhear.

"Master Jaken, why is she here?"

Never taking his eyes of his Lord or their new guest, Jaken turned his head slightly and spoke to Rin over his shoulder in the same whisper.

"Lord Sesshoumaru requested her visit some time after Prince Yuki agreed to marry you. It seems our Lord means to court Lady Leiko."

"Court… as in… potential mate?"

"Yes Rin."

Rin felt as if she could not breathe. Placing a hand lightly to her chest, she gripped the back of Sesshoumaru's throne with the other. She squeezed her eyes shut against the mysteriously spinning room and concentrated on breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth.

"Master Jaken, if you or Milord have no further use for me, may I be excused?"

Rin knew one never asked to be dismissed; they simply waited to be; for one was always ready to be of service to one's lord. Jaken had drilled this into Rin. Turning to eye the girl suspiciously, he was alarmed by her obvious state of distress.

"Child, are you alright?"

"I think I just need to get some water and lay down a bit."

"Yes, of course, you are excused."

Rin suppressed a smile as Jaken ushered her out of the room. He was quite the "mother hen" when he was concerned and not paying attention to himself.

Sesshoumaru turned from the golden beauty before him when he noticed the absence of Rin's presence.

"Jaken, where is Rin?"

"Milord, with all due respect, the girl was feeling a bit lightheaded. I sent her to her room. I beg your forgiveness for my impudence, but you know how weak humans are."

"Oh darn. I have heard so much about your little pet and was hoping to see it."

Leiko batted her eyelashes at Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru apparently missed the derogative tone Leiko spoke of Rin in completely.

"I apologize. Perhaps she will be feeling better this evening or tomorrow morning."

"Oh goodie. Well in the meantime, could you escort me to my chambers? My trip was long and I am such a mess…"

………………………………………….

Dinner was quite an event. Rin was terribly disappointed that her usual seat at Sesshoumaru's right hand had and been filled. Lady Leiko now occupied that chair with Prince Yuki to Sesshoumaru's left and Rin to the human's left. Almost as soon as the meal began, Rin could feel her ire rising. There was only so much a girl's pride could take.

Leiko was not to subtly lavishing venereal attention upon Sesshoumaru. As well, Prince Yuki was doing his best to capture the attention of his bride-to-be. No doubt with the intention of romancing her once he obtained it.

"Lord Sesshoumaru you are undoubtedly the most debonair Lord I have met. Your father was so magnanimous, it is no wonder his son be so magnificent."

Rin wanted to gag herself with a spoon. She let her gaze drop to the table before her, eyeing the innocent piece of cut and polished metal seemingly gleaming up at her mockingly.

"Rin, your beauty is exquisite. That kimono you are wearing is remarkable. It compliments your fair skin beautifully. Did you make it yourself?"

Rin turned her attention away from the impudent dining utensils and focused on Prince Yuki.

"Yes Milord."

At the sound of her voice, Rin noticed Sesshoumaru's attention drift to her.

"What skill you must possess. Do you enjoy sewing and embroidery?"

Prince Yuki placed his hand gently over hers. At this, Rin noticed Sesshoumaru's eyes barely narrow.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, have you ever had the pleasure of meeting…"

Leiko placed her hand delicately on top of the demon lord's. Sesshoumaru's attention reverted back to her and he began to answer her questions. Rin felt her cheeks warm with anger. (Which Prince Yuki probably mistook for pleasure at his touch)

_So he doesn't like it when Prince Yuki, my fiancé touches me, but he has no problem with that power monger touching him. Humph. _

Turning her attention back to the human and smiled at him lightly.

"Yes, Prince Yuki. It's so kind of you to notice. I very much enjoy sewing, cooking and the other tasks a good wife takes pride in."

Yuki smiled back at her, pleased that she seemed to be happy about their arrangement.

Sesshoumaru did not like the way the human sitting next to him was looking at Rin. Throughout most of the evening he was blatantly lavishing his attention on her, attempting to romance her.

He had invited Lady Leiko to his lands as a distraction. He had decided that perhaps delving into a courtship would take his mind off of the fact that Rin was leaving him. While the lion demon was very beautiful and obviously quite willing to be his "distraction", he did not miss the way Prince Yuki's presence was making him feel.

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the prince's sappy comments, even controlled the growls that bubbled in his chest when the insolent whelp touched her. What he could not take was Rin's sudden change of attitude towards the human. She was smiling at him, laughing at his jokes, and worst of all, she allowed him to touch her.

_This isn't right, Rin is mine! No one is allowed to touch what is mine!_

He swallowed the anger before it could begin to boil within him.

_No, Rin does not belong to me anymore. This was my decision; this is what is best for her. I should be happy that she liked him. I want her to be happy, no matter how it makes me feel._

Setting his mind, Sesshoumaru returned his attention to the pair if pale gold eyes blinking suggestively at him.

……………………………………………………….

Sorry it took me so long. I was a lot of stuff going on and…

Well, you don't actually care.

Till next time.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry it's been so long. Life has been hectic and I've been trying to finish my other story, TTSSYF. I have only an epilogue to go on that one and it's done for forever. I'm not really the sequel type, at least not yet. Anyway, here's your chapter.

……………………………………………………………………………

Rin flopped onto her bed with a disgruntled sigh. She had been having trouble sleeping lately and was not looking forward to wrestling with insomnia tonight. Getting back up she undressed, changing into a sleeping kimono, and blew out her candles before climbing back into bed. She sat up against her pillows and stared at the flames dancing in the fireplace across the room from her.

Dinner that night had been another… event to say the least. She had her hands full dodging compliments and attempts at intimate conversation from Prince Yuki and trying to overlook blatant insults and thinly veiled glares from Lady Leiko. Not to mention trying to catch even a moment of Lord Sesshoumaru's attention. So engrossed was he with his guest and she with hers, she rarely had any chances to be with him. She dearly missed the occasional stroll they would take together through the gardens after dinner, or the picnic lunches, or the times he'd randomly stop in on one of her lessons just to see how they were going.

Heaving another sigh, Rin lay down and stared up at the ceiling of her room. Was it really wrong for her to love Sesshoumaru? Setting aside the issues of age, race and spiritual orientation, what was their relationship? Sesshoumaru had taken her in, a lonely orphan, and had provided for her every need. Sesshoumaru saw her as a daughter, and she should have viewed him as a possible second father. Though even in her young mind, she had never made that connection with him. He had been too… fascinating, and mysterious for her to think of him as a father. Was that why this was wrong? Because their roles had been set a long time ago, and there was no room for change?

Rin thought about the upper class lords from her village growing up. There had been a few instances where father's had taken their daughters as concubines after they had come of age. Rin shuddered at the thought. That wasn't the situation they were in now, was it? If Sesshoumaru viewed her as a daughter, it very well might be.

Rin flipped onto her side and tugged one of her furs up over her shoulder.

It wasn't fair! If she was never supposed to fall in love with Sesshoumaru, why did the gods bring them together in the first place? Why not let her be eaten by those wolves like the rest of her village?

Sitting up, Rin pushed off the fir. Now she was angry and no amount of sleep would find her in this state. Slipping out of bed, she moved silently out of her room and though the castle towards the south gardens where her archery field resided.

……………………………………………………

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was late and he was in his study going over random notices and messages from across the Western Lands. With all the "wooing" of him that Lady Leiko had been trying to do lately, the only time he had to himself was the late evening and early morning. Consequently, his time with Rin had dwindled down to none.

Though that had been the goal in the beginning, Sesshoumaru found that he missed the girl's company acutely. She brought a light and exuberance to daily life. Her easy smiles and frequent giggles were encouraging and heart warming. She was wise and fair hearted. Whenever Sesshoumaru's days of solving disputes and issues proved too boring, he would call Rin in, asking her opinion on the matters at hand.

Sesshoumaru mentally shook himself. These thoughts were not helping matters. He was supposed to be getting used to life without the human, not reminiscing about afternoons picking flowers. Standing, he decided a stroll through the castle gardens would do him some good.

…………………………………………..

Thunk

_A miko, falling for a demon lord? I'm a fool. _

Thunk

_Why does it have to be such a bad thing? I could be a lady. _

Thunk

_Yeah right. I could see it now; the Noble Western Lands lain to ruin because their Lady was a weak human. _

Thunk

_I hate maturity… and responsibility, and dignity, propriety, tradition, modesty, and especially expectations. _

Thunk

_Why can't I have what I want? Why can't I be selfish and, gods forbid, break tradition once in my life? I want Sesshoumaru. Is that really so wrong? _

Thunk

Rin's arm lowered; her bow held lightly in her hand. In the end, she knew the bottom line truth. It didn't matter how much she wanted it, it would never be hers. Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, hated humans. He despised their weakness and their stupidity. Even with the exception of taking in a lone little orphan, there was no way he would bond himself with a human. Mating was forever, she was not.

_The sooner I come to terms with the truth, the sooner I can move on. _

Walking a few paces forward, Rin retrieved her arrows from the tree they had been embedded in, and returned them to her quiver before crossing back over to the firing line. Sighing, Rin wiped the perspiration that had begun to bead on her forehead and pulled another arrow from her quiver.

………………………………………………..

Sesshoumaru strolled through the southern gardens slowly, taking solace from the graceful plants and peaceful moonlight. He rarely came this way, being that he had all but given these gardens to Rin for her own uses. Since he had first brought her here, she always seemed to find a way to sneak out from under the watchful eyes of her nursemaids and guardians and find her way here. Uninhibited, a memory flashed through the mind of the melancholy lord.

_A young girl of ten ran up to Sesshoumaru, an armful of flowers clutched to her chest, a smudge of dirt on her cheek. _

_"Lord Sesshoumaru! Look at the pretty flowers Rin found!"_

_Bending down to her level, Sesshoumaru passed his eyes over the floral arrangement in her arms. Lifting a clawed finger to her cheek, he wiped off the dark soil that clung there._

_"Where have you been, Rin?"_

_Blushing lightly, Rin smiled brightly at the demon before her._

_"Master Jaken was telling Rin about mating." _

_Sesshoumaru felt as if it might be possible for him to die right there. Mentally making a note to kill his retainer later, Sesshoumaru composed himself enough to look in the face of his charge without blushing himself._

_"What exactly did Jaken tell you?"_

_Rin joined Sesshoumaru on the stone bench he had been sitting on. Setting the bundle of flowers on the bench next to her, she began to pick through them, braiding them into chains._

_"Rin asked Jaken why Lord Sesshoumaru isn't married. Rin was wondering because Lord Sesshoumaru looked lonely. And Rin's daddy told her that he was lonely before he married Mama. But Master Jaken said that demons don't marry. They… mate. So I asked him what that means." _

_"And what did he tell you?"_

_"He said that when a demon finds another demon that they think is special, they mate that demon, claiming them as theirs. He said they live together forever."_

_"They do, Rin."_

At least they're supposed to._ Sesshoumaru shook off thoughts of his father and turned his attention back to the blushing girl next to him. She had braided most of the flowers into a crown that now adorned her head. _

_"Master Jaken said that Rin is too young to have a mate or a husband."_

_"He is correct." _

_Rin seemed to contemplate this as she twirled a baby blue daisy between her fingers. _

_"Then Rin will just have to wait till Rin is older."_

_"Wait for what Rin?"_

_Turning to Sesshoumaru, the girl began to braid a lock of his hair, twining the pale flower in between the silver strands. _

_"Don't worry Lord Sesshoumaru; Rin will make sure you are not lonely anymore."_

_"And how is that?" Not bothering to correct the girl on his emotional status._

_Finished with her task, Rin kissed Sesshoumaru on the cheek. Giggling, she hopped off the bench and looked him in the eyes._

_"Rin is going to marry Lord Sesshoumaru and we are going to be together forever."_

_Sesshoumaru stared off after the strange human child as she ran off into the gardens once more._

Sesshoumaru was brought out of his thoughts by a sound that, while not completely foreign, was unusual for this late hour. Passing through the rose bushes and maneuvering through the cherry orchid, he came upon a sight that he realized he had seen too little of lately. Across from him, through the trees and on the other side of a small clearing stood Rin; her bow and arrow poised to fire. She was aiming at the trees that stood between her and the trespassing demon and seemed to be yet unaware of his presence.

The sound he had heard had been that of her arrows striking the trees. He considered making his presence know, but decided to just quietly observe her instead. She was beautiful. Her long dark hair hung freely down her back and fluttered slightly in the light evening breeze. Her face was flushed from exertion, her eyes slightly narrowed in concentration, her lips slightly pouting. The light sleeping kimono she wore was modest, yet accented her figure agreeably.

Sticking to the trees, he began to move around the clearing and closer to her. As he went he also noticed with a bit of pride that her aim was excellent and true. She had painted a bull's eye on the trees that lined the edge of the clearing. Her arrows were landing all within the first circle if not the center every time.

……………………………………...

Rin pulled another arrow from the quiver beside her and notched it. Lifting the bow to eyelevel, she aimed, pulled back and released; hitting just above the bull's eye.

_See, I knew it. I'm aiming too high. _

Sighing, she lowered her bow again.

_I'm going to marry Prince Yuki._

Setting her bow to lean against her quiver, she looked at her hands.

_I'm sure he will be a good husband. He is kind and gentle, he has a lot of money and land; I will want for nothing… Except for love. _

She gracefully lowered to the ground, her legs tucked under her and her hands in her lap.

_That's not fair. I know of hundreds of arranged marriages that have ended in love. My parent's marriage was arranged and they loved each other… eventually. I'm sure I can learn to love him. _

"I'm going to marry Prince Yuki."

It came out as a whisper; her voice flat and void of emotion. But saying it out loud made something inside her break. Something that had blindly believed this whole thing to be a silly nightmare. Slowly and without her acquiescence, tears began to make their way down her cheeks. Before she was even aware, Rin was all out sobbing.

…………………………………………………

Sesshoumaru had just come to stand behind the tree only ten feet away from Rin when she had dropped to the grass. He heard her small confession and was surprised to feel part of him rebel against it. He realized that he had been waiting for Rin to refuse the marriage again. Yet she hadn't spoken about it since the prince had arrived.

_Perhaps she changed her mind when she saw him. It is possible she finds him attractive and worthy of aligning with her. _

Sesshoumaru's thoughts were interrupted by the smell of warm salt water.

_Rin is crying? _

As she began to sob, Sesshoumaru began to unconsciously move toward her. His instincts were telling him to touch her, hold her, and soothe away whatever it was that was making her ache so. As he stepped into the clearing, he felt something that made him, Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands, nervous; raw miko power.

In his numerous years, Sesshoumaru had encountered many a miko and had learned a thing or two about miko power. One thing was that, like demon energy or youki, each miko had her own unique energy signature. He had long since memorized the signature of both Kagome and Rin's energy. What he was feeling now didn't quite match up to either signature. It slightly resembled Rin, but it was darker, disturbed and unstable. What concerned the demon lord the most was that the energy was definitely coming from Rin; it was leaking from her in slow waves.

……………………………………………….

Rin's heart sank farther and farther as finality sunk in. She could feel control over her powers slipping, but she paid it no mind. She didn't care. She just wanted to curl up and disappear. She didn't want to be a wife, or a princess. She wanted to be a miko, a lady and a mate.

"Sesshoumaru."

Rin groaned. Her heart ached so much. If only she could turn back time and become that frightened little girl again. To be able to curl up in her lord's lap and never fear what may come. Oh how she wished she could go back and live in those years forever.

……………………………..

Sesshoumaru approached the girl slowly. The power around Rin swirled against him as he came to stand before her. She looked so small and frail as the sobs racked her frame. He forgot at times the power this simple weak human possessed. He reached out to her with his left hand and the energy responded angrily. It lashed at his hand, trying to purify it and leaving a burn or two on his forearm and a large gash on his palm. Pulling his hand back, he examined it. Of course it would be the left one that got injured.

He had been surprised when she whispered his name. He hadn't thought she had noticed him. And then he realized; she hadn't. She hadn't been addressing him, she had been calling him. He felt something inside him respond to that small sad voice. Without thinking about it, he kneeled down, gently took the girl's hands in his and pulled them away from her face. She started and gave a gasp. Her tear blurred eyes going wide with surprise and confusion.

"Sesshoumaru?"

Her voice was small and timid, as if she believed this all to be an illusion. Closing her eyes again, she threw herself into him, burying her face against his chest. Forgetting his wounds as his instincts screamed at him, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her into his lap.

As Rin's cries died down, so did the dark miko energy. Composing herself once more, she came to the realization that this was not a figment of her imagination, but that Sesshoumaru was indeed holding her and that she did, indeed, lash out at him with dark miko energy. With this realization came the knowledge that she no longer cared. Her heart was slowly resigning to the fact that it would never gain that which would make it the happiest and most content; her lord's heart.

In slow, languid movements, she pulled away from his chest. Without looking him in the face, Rin took his left arm into her hands and examined the damage her depression had done. Finally, after a slow moment, she spoke, though her voice was filled with the fatigue she suddenly felt.

"It would be your left arm that my powers tried to purify, wouldn't it. Good thing for you it was the arm that Kagome gave you, rather than your fully demonic right one."

Years prior, directly after the fall of Naraku, Kagome struck a deal with the demon lord. In exchange for the end of any further attempts on her mate's life and/or possessions, she used her miko powers to heal the damage done by Tetsaiga and encouraged his arm to regrow. As a result the new arm, though completely demonic in form, was notably more resistant to miko attacks.

"You warned this Sesshoumaru once that you were a force to be reckoned with. Is this your attempt at proving your claims?"

Rin cocked her head to the side slightly and contemplated her response.

"Was that an attempt at humor, Lord Sesshoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru declined to answer. Instead, he silently lifter her from the ground and began to carry her back through the gardens and into the castle. Being that the door linking his chambers to the gardens was closest, he set her down just outside the door.

"It is late, you should retire."

Rin's eyes narrowed almost unnoticeably as she accepted the challenge Sesshoumaru never issued.

"Of course Lord Sesshoumaru. I am, after all, human and therefore fragile and weak. How are you able to prevent my breaking in half from breathing? Oh, how foolish of me to question the reach of your influence and power? But then again, my tiny mortal brain would never have a hope of comprehending your awesomeness."

Sesshoumaru's brow clicked down a notch at the sarcasm and impudence dripping from her words.

"Is it your intention to irritate me with your foolish words, or is this lack in your judgment a result of your obvious fatigue?"

Rin crossed her arms, preparing for the verbal battle she felt she was due.

_If I'm to make my voyage into matrimonial hell within the week, I might as well "let him have it" as Kagome would say, while I have the chance. _

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but was that a warning; dare I say threat? Because as far as I know, I'm too insignificant to in your eyes to be considered worthy of as much as a warning."

"You are emotional, Rin. You should retire before you say something you may regret."

"Ha! And what do you know about emotions! You know, your brother is right about you. You are an ice cold bastard!"

Sesshoumaru clenched his hand in an attempt to maintain control.

_This human knows all the buttons, doesn't she?_

"What, no response? Not going to discipline your _pet_ for being disrespectful?"

Rin was right under his nose, glaring up at him. Sesshoumaru's hand was around her neck before she could blink.

"What do you want from me!"

Sesshoumaru could not suppress the growl that bubbled up from his throat. Rin placed her open hand against his chest over his heart; a hand that was glowing with dark miko power.

"Acknowledge me! Fight back!"

"Do you so desperately wish to die by this Sesshoumaru's hand!"

Sesshoumaru's hand tightened around her neck. Rin's glare never faltered as tears began to fall from her eyes.

"You've already killed me, Sesshoumaru."

The words she spat in disgust shocked him enough that his hand slacked around her neck. When Rin noticed that she wasn't going to antagonize him into striking first, she swiftly pulled her hand back from his chest into a glowing fist and swung for his jaw.

"Damn you!"

Sesshoumaru caught her right hook against his palm and pulled her forward; crushing her to him and his lips to hers. It was she who forced her way past his lips, deepening the kiss. He sunk his claws of one hand into the hair at the nape of her neck as her free hand gripped his kimono at the hip.

When he felt her tugging at the tie that held his sleeping kimono closed, he came back to himself; releasing her suddenly and taking a step back.

"I apologize for my inappropriate forwardness. I believe now would be the time for us to retire… separately… and maintain whatever dignity we may still possess."

When Rin hand reared back to slap him, Sesshoumaru didn't stop it from connecting with his face. The words she spoke when she brushed past him broke the heart that he wasn't aware, until that moment, he possessed.

"I hate you."

……………………………………………………………..

It's not as long as I was hoping to make it, but I hope it jumps the story along enough to begin to make up for my long absence. I'm not going to make you any promises as to when my next chapter will be up. Nor do I know how long this thing will actually be. Unlit next time, lot's of love for y'all.


	8. Chapter 8

Some of your guy's reviews were hilarious.

……………………………………………………..

It was hot. Wiping the sweat from her brow, Kagome sat up from where she had been kneeling over in her herb garden. From this point, she could see InuYasha lounging on the porch or their hut, trying to act as though he wasn't watching her. His "mother hen" act during the last few months of pregnancy were _really_ starting to get on her nerves. So, in exchange for her not sitting him until future pregnancies were no longer an option, he gave her a twenty foot radius unless called upon.

Just then, she saw InuYasha's ears perk up just as she felt the approach of a demon. Lucky for the demon they both recognized the youki of their impromptu visitor. It was a messenger from the Western Lands. The dog demon met them at the gate of Kagome's garden, bowing lightly to her.

"Honorable Miko, I bear a message from the Great Lord of the Western Lands."

Kagome took the scroll and popped open the seal. InuYasha could have sworn he literally saw dark clouds form as his mate read. His ears unconsciously lowered. Even the full blooded demon was getting nervous.

"What… ahem… What is your reply?"

The ice in Kagome's voice had both men backing up a step.

"Oh I'm coming…"

…………………………………………………………………………….

Sesshoumaru was hurt; his pride, his dignity, his hand… He had barely left his study over the last week. Jaken had come in with his morning meal the day after that night and had squawked and screeched over the state of his' lord's hand. Nearly every bone had been fractured or dislocated, the skin looked like it had been lacerated and dipped in acid, and it hurt like hell.

Rising from his bed, he slipped out of his sleeping yukata and splashed his face with the water in the basin by his window. He didn't even bother with the water that trickled down his neck and over his chest. His own nudity never bothered him and his mind was in too much turmoil to care.

He couldn't get over her parting words. They played over and over in his mind like a mantra. He had wanted to make her happy and give her the life she deserved. He had wanted to protect her; from assassins, rumors, himself. How had he screwed that all up?

_I hate you._

She would be leaving today. They had completed the marriage contract yesterday. The ceremony was short and stoic. Not once did Rin speak or even raise her eyes to him. After four days travel, she would belong to the human that Sesshoumaru had handed her over to. Never again would she return to this estate.

Sesshoumaru calmly put his fist through the frame of the door leading to his balcony and the gardens beyond. He had never lost control so completely before. He touched her; kissed her.

_How could I be so weak! If Prince Yuki ever found out… the shame it would bring to her name! _

He sat on the edge of his futon, his head hung in defeat. There was a smart rap on the door and he grunted his acknowledgment; knowing it to be Jaken.

"My apologies for disturbing you Milord, but it is time for you to bid young Rin farewell. The caravan will be leaving within the hour."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sesshoumaru could see Jaken's eyes dart back and forth between himself and the damaged door frame; though he said nothing. After an awkwardly quiet moment, Jaken cleared his throat.

"I will inform them that you will be along shortly, Milord."

Once again, Sesshoumaru grunted his acknowledgement and Jaken silently make his exit. Leaving his lord to dress himself and prepare for the day ahead.

………………………………………………..

Rin had risen with the sun and had spent the morning traipsing around her childhood home. She tried to commit as much as possible to memory. There was so much she was leaving behind here. So many people she loved and cherished that she would probably never see again.

She was found around mid-morning by her ladies-in-waiting. Two of which were dog demons who had looked after her most of her life, the other two were humans from Yuki's court. They layered her in silks, satins, jewels and cosmetics till she looked every part the human bride to be.

When she entered the courtyard at last, everyone was there. It seemed as if the whole castle had turned out for her departure. Prince Yuki was discussing something with his Capitan of the Guard and the two were chuckling lightly. Sesshoumaru stood a few feet off from them, stoic and cold, Jaken at his side.

She approached them to give them a proper farewell. She stopped in front of Jaken first. Bowing neatly, she acknowledged him.

"Master Jaken. I thank you for your guidance and wisdom over the years. I could not have asked for a better mentor. Rin shall miss you."

She bent over and kissed him lightly on the forehead, winking conspiratorially when he blushed and sputtered. As light and carefree as her farewell to her teacher had been, all mirth left her and soberness gripped her as she stepped before Sesshoumaru. She bowed low before him, in spite of the fact they were in the courtyard. She did not raise her head to address him, but spoke to his feet instead.

"How could I ever express adequate gratitude and respect to you, Lord Sesshoumaru? I owe you everything I am; my life, my soul. I shall never forget you and all you have done for me. In parting, I bid you a long journey of prosperity and happiness."

She bestowed upon him a miko's blessing, all without looking at his face, and with the help of her ladies in waiting rose to her feet. Prince Yuki helped her into her carriage and when the door was closed behind her, she once again spilt silent tears.

…………………………………….

The demon lord had just exited the courtyard into the castle when a cry rose up from the gates. Someone was moving through the compound towards the castle that the guards apparently couldn't stop. Sesshoumaru turned to face the intruder when he felt something that surprised him; miko power.

…………………………………….

Rin was silent as the caravan moved along. Only one of her maids rode in the carriage with her. The inu youkai tried at light conversation to entice her lady into a brighter mood, but nothing was working. At least the silence was no longer stifling.

Rin's mind was blank. She had finally stopped the tears, for which she was grateful, but her heart felt numb and her brain was white noise. It was as if her spirit had given up. She apathetically wondered if her heart would ever feel passion again. She inwardly scoffed at such morbidly melancholy thoughts. This wasn't the end of the world; just the end of _her_ world.

She mentally cringed as she recalled her words to her lord from a week prior. That was not the kind of passion she wished to maintain. Examining herself, she knew that she could never truly hate Sesshoumaru. As much as she'd love to just dump all of this on him and move on, she couldn't.

The young princess-to-be's thoughts were interrupted by a shout outside and her carriage unexpectedly stopping. She turned to her maid who looked just as confused as her.

"Do you know why we've stopped?"

"No Milady, but I will inquire for you."

The young demon exited the carriage, closing the reed flap behind her. A commotion arose outside and Rin began to grow anxious. She gasped in surprise when the reed mat was once again pulled open. The person standing there was not her maid.

………………………………..

Sesshoumaru sighed heavily in annoyance at the entrance of his impromptu "guests". Normally he would have growled, but he just didn't seem to have the energy to care all that much.

Kagome marched right up to him; pregnant belly, trailing mate and guards and all. She would have been right up in his face were she not lacking a foot in stature and sporting a nine month belly. She looked ready to burst in more ways than one. Miko energy was rolling off her in waves, making his skin crawl and the hairs on his neck rise.

"Just what is your damage!"

Sesshoumaru merely blinked at her, knowing if he remained silent, she'd clarify her inquiry. It seemed his patience had paid off, sort of, when she angrily shoved a parchment under his nose. It was his message to her.

"'…By the by, I thought it was wise to inform you of a slight discrepancy in Rin's behavior. I seemed to have sensed negative powers from her and thought to note it to you…' Are you daft man! Dark miko energy! What the hell has been going on around here?"

Sesshoumaru was beginning to become irritated. His disposition was already in a bay way and the woman was pushing for a fight.

"How is our daily schedule any concern of yours, human? This Sesshoumaru does not answer to you."

Kagome let out a very impressive growl for a human. Her hands were clenched at her sides as she narrowed her eyes.

"It is my concern when it affects my apprentice! Do you have any idea the delicate balance that must be between a miko's heart and her powers? It is difficult to upset, but once broken, almost impossible to repair. If Rin is experiencing the changes in her powers that you are implying, she could be in very real danger. I mean, look at your hand! I can see the damage even after what looks to be about a week's healing. I ask you again, Sesshoumaru, what have you done?"

He felt a muscle in his hand twitch at her mention of it, but refused to look down at it. Keeping his gaze firm, he lifted his chin in determination.

"I did what I deemed was best for her. I arranged for her to be married to a human prince. As we speak, she is traveling to her new home and new life."

There was a moment of shocked silence before Kagome erupted. With a snarl, she went for his neck.

"You did what!"

InuYasha, who had been silent and still up till this point, moved forward to hold Kagome out of reach of Sesshoumaru. The lord frowned at them both.

"InuYasha is right to hold back woman. Though I would never lower myself to harm you seriously, your impudence annoys me."

InuYasha sneered at his brother from where he was busy trying to keep his raging mate pinned in his arms.

"It's your ass I'm trying to save from a thrashing. If she wasn't pregnant, I'd be sorely tempted to let Kagome beat the shit out of you. You are a prideful fool, _Brother_."

Kagome glared up at him from where she was trapped against her mate's chest.

"Why would you do something like this, Sesshoumaru? I thought you loved her-"

Sesshoumaru's façade finally cracked. He snarled at the miko, snapping at her in his frustration and pain.

"- I do love her! It's because of that love that I acted how I saw fit. I could not dare subject her to the life InuYasha's mother had. I wanted what would be best for her."

Kagome's eyes softened slightly upon hearing the demon's confession.

"Don't you see? She was in love with you. You are what made her happy. Now, you have broken her heart."

Sesshoumaru met Kagome's gaze at her words. However, before he could respond, they were interrupted by a servant; one of the servants from Rin's caravan.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! The caravan has been attacked Milord…"

The servant paused in his tidings as Sesshoumaru was already gone.

……………………………

I really didn't mean to end it here, but I don't have enough inspiration yet for the next scene and I didn't want to give y'all crappy work. Kitty said it would be ok if I ended it here so if y'all have problems with cliff hangers, blame it on her. : P

Did you like the little fan service I did with Sesshoumaru nudie in his room? waggles eyebrows I know I did.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note (In bold so you can skip it if you don't care): **

**I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for leaving the last chapter off as a cliffhanger and waiting a bit before writing this chapter. I didn't want to just slap something together and have y'all pissed off at me for crappy work. Which would you rather have? A fast update or thought out work? This chapter contains a pivotal moment for the story and I didn't want it to seem rushed.**

**I also wanted to comment on someone's review. They said that my Sesshoumaru was way out of character. I don't think they were trying to be mean or anything and I'm taking it as constructive criticism, but I wanted to respond anyway. I knew when I was writing this that I couldn't completely maintain the Sesshoumaru that everyone knows in the anime/manga. **

**I know that my Sesshy is out of character, but it was intentional. Rumiko doesn't go into too much detail about Maru-Chan on purpose I think. (This is all my own opinion) First of all, he's a secondary character so his development is not all that crucial. And, he's supposed to be mysterious and self reliant. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but I (and a few of my friends who are also die hard Fluffy fans) see that he is mostly a spoiled brat. Take the way he treats Jaken. Sesshou's always taking his frustrations out on the poor toad man. (The very first episode that the two are in, he holds Jaken underwater) Showing that he does experience emotions, he just doesn't express them often. Also, my story is set quite a few years post anime/manga. So our Lord Priss has had Rin's emotional influence working away at his icy resolve for a while now. He's not had to deal with this kind of emotional responsibility on such a personal level before. He's at a place now where he has to admit and process emotions he refused to acknowledge even existed. It's all becoming a little too much for him so he's beginning to crack. (Hence the snap at Kagome that he does love Rin) He's never cared about anyone, much less loved them, so jealousy, depression, guilt and withdrawal are not emotions he's had practice expressing. **

**Oh and one last thing. I don't remember who it was, but somebody asked if they could use my description of miko powers in their fic. Go right ahead, more power to ya. Thank you for asking first. **

**I hope this has made my Sesshoumaru's actions and thoughts a little clearer and easier to understand. Okie dokie, enough long winded babble from me, on with the story already!**

…………………………………………..

Rin cursed colorfully as she tripped, yet again, on her kimono. Shrugging out of another needless layer of silk, she climbed to her feet and took off again. As she moved through the underbrush of the forest, she pulled pins, combs and other miscellaneous bejeweled finery from her hair and chucked them at her pursuer. He was gaining on her; her being weighted down and her movements awkward.

The caravan had been attacked by a rogue band of youkai. The two inu maids that had accompanied her from the Western Taisho castle were dead. All of the guards were either dead or engaged in combat with the enemy; iguana youkai.

They were a creature that stuck mostly to the coast. Their bodies were covered in smooth scales and their mouths were filled with razors. They stood tall on two legs like a man, with a tail quick as a whip. Their spinal crest ran from the crown of the head to the shoulders in four inch spikes that twitched and undulated with the creature's emotions.

Rin had been pulled from her carriage by a scaly green arm and came face-to-face with one of the assailants. It had hooked its claws into her obi and yanked her into the open. One of the talons caught on the ties and ripped through; freeing her of the obi and the youkai. Overcoming her own surprise and taking advantage of her attacker's Rin scrambled to her feet and made a break for the trees. Unfortunately, the lizard was as agile on land as it was in the water; it was making great time towards her.

Dodging back and forth sporadically between the trees, Rin tried her best to shake the demon. Acting on instinct, she reached inside of herself to pull on her spiritual powers. As expected her powers rose in answer to her call. What had her gasping in surprise was the ache that throbbed through her as well. Her thoughts, which had up until this point been silently focused on her survival, began to call to her again.

_Why are you running? Why are you even trying? I thought you had given up._

_I've given up on love, not life!_

_Wasn't he your life? Can you honestly tell yourself that he isn't still?_

_Yes… No… I want so badly to hate him now. _

_If you hate your life so much, end it. Just stop running and let this creature kill you. End the hurt, end the betrayal, the pain. _

Rin stopped running and dropped to the ground, tilting her head back and screaming her frustration to the world. As this happened, her hold on her powers faltered and she released a wave of purifying power. It swept the forest in a radius of twenty feet in a blast of dark purple light. The iguana youkai pursuing her was turned to dust. Rin sat in the mud trying to decide whether she was crying out of relief or disappointment. After a few moments she decided that it didn't matter and just cried.

………………………………………………………………………

Panic was creeping on the edges of our demon lord's consciousness as he raced through the forest. The only things keeping it at bay were adrenaline, urgency and the suspicion that he was being followed. Glancing over his shoulder, he noted the unexpected presence of the half breed. After a few minutes of silence Sesshoumaru stopped running and graced him with the acknowledgement of his presence.

"What are you doing out here?"

A pause seemed to indicate he wasn't going to get a response. When InuYasha's voice finally broke the silence, his answer wasn't what Sesshoumaru was expecting.

"Kags kicked me out; said I was crowding her again."

Sesshoumaru turned his nose up at his brother.

"I don't have time for you and your mating issues."

InuYasha nodded thoughtfully.

"Right, you've got your own, after all."

A low growl reverberated through the trees.

"Yeah, yeah, keep my big mouth shut, I know. C'mon, let's go get your girl."

Within minutes they were upon the wreckage. The demons had had the element of surprise on their side. More than half the caravan was dead; the rest were still engaged in confrontation two to one. Sesshoumaru and InuYasha went to work immediately.

The iguanas were no match for the inu brothers, but in masse they proved to be stubborn about dying. After a few moments of fighting, Sesshoumaru came upon the remains of the carriage and two inu maids. Everything around him seemed to freeze. A few feet away he discovered Rin's obi and getas. They were soaked in blood. There was so much blood everywhere; he would have had a hard time finding the scent of his own blood, much less Rin's.

"Sesshoumaru."

His brother's voice barely broke through his mounting despair. He raised his gaze from the strip of cloth in his hands and met his brother's eyes.

"Her scent leads off into the woods, she didn't die here."

"They shall die for trespassing in my territory."

"I'll take care of these losers, you go after Rin. One of them followed her."

"Which direction?"

A blood curdling scream ripped through the air as an explosion of purple light could be seen in the distance.

……………………………………

Blinded by her tears, Rin stumbled as she rose and tried to move. Leaning against a tree, she continued to let the tears fall unhindered. They soaked her kimono, staining the silk and mixing with the dirt and debris there. She did not notice Sesshoumaru's approach till he stood before her.

……………………………………..

Sesshoumaru raced though the forest, following the path of Rin's scent. He feared what he would find upon his arrival. He could not fathom what he would do if he was too late; too late to save her life, or his place in it. He stopped when he met the charred remains of Rin's would be attacker. Ten yards ahead was Rin's slumped form.

_It had been so close._

He approached her cautiously, not knowing what mood she would receive him in. Sesshoumaru feared nothing. Nothing, that is, but this small woman's rejection. He came to stand a couple feet away from her, waiting for her to acknowledge him. She slowly raised her eyes to his, but said nothing. He was at a loss for words.

"When I left the caravan, Prince Yuki was alive."

She said nothing, merely blinked up at him with distant eyes.

"This Sesshoumaru knows not what to say. I was under the impression that I had no emotions. I felt nothing when my father died. Not even when my mother was gone."

He took a few steps towards her, removing some of the space between them.

"I need you to return with me Rin. I need you to help me understand what the hell is wrong with me. I cannot let you go with that weak human."

Rin continued to say nothing. She lowered her eyes to the ground and remained still; resting back against the tree. If any of the original InuYasha group were to have seen her then, they would have thought how very much she resembled Kikyo at the moment.

"Rin…"

"I can't…"

It was a mere whisper, a murmur, but it resounded in the ears of Sesshoumaru. He had been too late. She was refusing him; his Rin whom had never refused him anything. His pride smarted as his heart crumbled.

_Is she worth this? Will you break before this mortal, you, who has defied gods? You claim nothing is beyond your reach and power. What of love? Is this Sesshoumaru great enough to face love head on? For that is what it would take to save this girl and yourself. If you walk away now for the sake of pride, you will lose her forever. _

Sesshoumaru, Taiyoukai among demons and Lord of the West, knelt in the mud before a human maiden. Wrapping his arms around her thighs, he pressed his face into her stomach.

"This Sesshoumaru was mistaken. I should never have tried to send you away to keep my sanity. You _are_ my sanity. Your place is at my side."

Tilting his head, he looked up into her eyes.

"Please forgive me. I need you."

Rin's eyes softened as she gazed down into his sun colored orbs. Lifting her hand from her side, she gently placed it against his cheek.

"Sesshoumaru."

His name, spoken by her voice, sounded like heavenly redemption.

"I only did what I thought was best for you. I want you to be happy Rin."

Rin felt more tears would have escaped her eyes if there had been any more to release.

"I'm only happy when I'm with you, my Sesshoumaru. I wish only to be by your side always."

Standing up, Sesshoumaru took her face between his hands and looked at her seriously.

"Will you become this fool's mate? Will you stay with this Sesshoumaru for eternity?"

"Longer."

Sesshoumaru leaned down and gently kissed her. When he pulled away, he was blessed with the first of her smiles to grace his eyes in over a month.

………………………………………………..

They returned to the castle to find it in an uproar. InuYasha had saved the humans and escorted them back to Sesshoumaru's castle. Kagome was ordering the servants around, trying to accommodate everyone. Jaken was arguing with her about everything and therefore getting himself pummeled by her over protective mate. Prince Yuki and his men were trying to take account of who was lost to them and who had returned to the castle. Kagome was the first to notice their return and hobbled over to them.

"Oh you're both back safe and sound. I was getting worried. Are you both alright? Do you need medical attention, or food?"

Rin smiled at her.

"We're fine, but thank you Kagome-sama."

"Good, good, then I need to get back to the others. We'll talk later Rin."

Kagome bustled off and Rin laughed after her.

"Her answer to everything is food and/or band aids."

"She's become more… what's the word she taught you? Bossy, now that she's pupped."

Rin giggled at the way the demon lord cocked his head to the side while contemplating her sensei. InuYasha approached them next.

"Don't worry about those stupid lizards; I took care of 'em. Made sure to catch and _deal_ with the ones that tried to run too."

Sesshoumaru grunted with a slight nod and InuYasha shrugged, walking away.

"Wow, I think that's the most civil I've ever seen the two of you."

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at Rin's teasing smile.

"There is no room for pride when one is put in one's place by the likes of my brother."

Rin's surprise registered on her face.

"And on what subject did InuYasha enlighten you?"

Sesshoumaru looked pointedly into her eyes as a small smirk played at the corners of his mouth.

"Dealing with stubborn human females."

Rin blushed lightly as Prince Yuki made his way over to them.

"Ah Lord Sesshoumaru, I am glad to see you have returned well. I thank you for your continued hospitality and the recovery of my bride. My captain tells me we will be able the re depart tomorrow."

Sesshoumaru frowned down at the human, a low growl vibrating from his chest.

"Rin shall not be joining you on your return."

Prince Yuki had a difficult time recovering from his shock.

"I'm afraid I don't understand. I do not wish to accuse you of going back on your word, Milord, but you signed the marriage contract. Rin belongs to me."

Sesshoumaru could feel Rin stiffen beside to him. The cloying scent of her fear filled his nose.

"You are in to place to assume anything human. This Sesshoumaru need not explain myself to the likes of you. Rin shall stay here because I will it."

Prince Yuki sputtered in a very Jaken-like way.

"B-but Lord Sesshoumaru… the contract… you can't do this!"

Sesshoumaru snarled at him.

"Do not, mere mortal, presume to tell me what I can and cannot do. I am the Taiyoukai of this land. Your human laws are nothing to me. I accepted the human contract for her. Now I am dismissing it for my own reasons."

Prince Yuki once again opened his mouth to respond, but found himself interrupted by a loud, rather nasally voice.

"I would desist that annoying drivel spilling from your mouth before Sesshoumaru-sama loses his patience with you and stops it permanently."

All eyes turned downward to the small green youkai moving towards them. Jaken placed himself between his lord and the humans.

"As is the norm for anyone when contradicting Sesshoumaru-sama, you are wrong human. Sesshoumaru has every right to dictate Rin's life for he is still her lord. According to _your_ human laws and this marriage contract, you have no claim to the girl."

The toad man brandished the embellished scroll in question.

"I don't understand…"

"The clause of the contract states that it is therefore binding as long as Lord Sesshoumaru deems you capable of providing young Rin with the lifestyle, provision _and_ protection that she is accustomed to. Rin having to take it upon herself to defend her life violates this contract. Just be glad we're not demanding compensation for the lives of her two handmaidens."

Prince Yuki was beyond flustered as he read the truth of Jaken's words in the contract. Unexpectedly, Rin spoke up in an attempt to soothe the situation.

"Prince Yuki, my lord and I would be honored if you would consider the treaty without the marriage. And to show that there is no loss of honor among us, I offer you still, my dowry which has already been bestowed upon you. As compensation for providing the distraction I needed in order to escape the attack with my life. Our servants will see to your lodging for the night. In the morning, you will be supplied for a safe journey home."

Prince Yuki bowed to Rin and Sesshoumaru.

"Thank you Lord Sesshoumaru and Rin, your graciousness is undeserving."

Jaken waited until the humans had moved away before turning on Rin.

"Darn right it's undeserving! What makes you think you can just give away that which is Lord Sesshoumaru's human? Your dowry alone was outrageous! But to offer them _all_ a night's stay _and_ supplies for their journey! Why I…"

"Jaken."

"Y-yes Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Rin was correct in the way she handled that situation. I would have expected no less from you, Jaken."

"O-of course, Milord."

"Go see to it that my brother's mate does not take over the entire Western lands. I would not put it past her."

As Jaken made after the pregnant miko, Lady Leiko took her turn with the exhausted couple.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, there you are. Why ever did you run off in such a hurry?"

"Were you not informed of the attack upon the human caravan?"

She brushed him off with a wave of her hand.

"Oh that, of course I was. Surely you didn't need to see to it personally. I daresay you should have let the foolish humans die; if they are so weak as to be overtaken by a bunch of lizards."

"I cared not for the rest of those humans, but Rin was among them."

The lion demoness giggled, placing her hand lightly on Sesshoumaru's shoulder.

"Silly, if your pet meant that much; I would have given you another. There are many human slaves scurrying around our castle back home. I could have had one of the young ones brought here for you."

Sesshoumaru eyed her hand disdainfully for a moment before removing it from his person with a flick of the wrist.

"You are mistaken Lady. Rin is not my pet."

Leiko blinked a bit owlishly at them for a moment.

"If I am mistaken, correct me, Milord. What is the human to you?"

Sesshoumaru frowned at her.

"That is my concern, not yours. I believe you have overstayed your welcome here, Lady Leiko. I will see to it that Jaken finds you a suitable escort back to your home."

A sneer marred the perfect complexion of the demoness as realization dawned on her.

"The Great Lord Sesshoumaru lowers himself to be a lover of humans. Just like your father. And like the old fool, you will die for your mistake."

Sesshoumaru growled loudly, causing Leiko to flinch, but he refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing him lose himself enough to strike her.

"Leave cat, by sunset tomorrow or I will personally drive you off my lands."

She stuck her nose in the air, trying to recover some of her pride.

"You will regret dismissing me Lord Sesshoumaru."

And with that she stomped off in a flourish.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself a small sigh before turning and addressing the hall.

"If there is nothing else…"

"Actually Sesshoumaru, there is one more thing."

Kagome stuck her hand up to get his attention. When Sesshouamru, Rin and InuYasha turned to her, they were automatically concerned by the way she clutched at her stomach.

"My water just broke."

……………………………………..

Woo hoo! I finally finished this stinking chapter! I'm so happy.


	10. Author's Note: I know and I'm sorry

Author's Note:

Author's Note:

First and foremost, I would like to deeply apologize that this is not, in fact, an actual chapter. I know how annoying AN chapters can be however, this one was, sad to say it, unavoidable. It has been a lengthy wait for all of you still patiently awaiting any sort of sign of life from me and a felt you deserved some sort of explanation as to my absence from the realm of fandom. I thank you all for your continued support and admiration of this work. I know it has been a very, very, _very_ long time since I last posted anything. The truth is I have been working on it a bit here and there. I'm actually revising the whole thing. I while back I decided to go back to college and so my time has now been severely limited. However, during the revision process, I have stumbled across several new plot ideas that I will be incorporating into the story. When you hear from me again, it may be prudent to reread the story in its entirety. Thank you again for you patience and understanding on my delays.


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